Languor management

If there is one perfect place for a cool summer, in every sense, it has to be Cape Cod. On the Cape, there is a very long cold, almost dormant season and then, suddenly, summer comes running and everything springs to life again.


In fact, I consider it my number one destination in the US. It has everything you could want: miles and miles of ocean with wild beaches and the smell of the sea ever present, with most of it only steps from the bustling villages that festoon its coastline, as fingers of land curve in and out, reaching far toward islands as beautiful as any, anywhere on the globe.


Massachusetts is pure Yankee territory. A large state with miles of rolling farmland, gorgeous natural arboretums that leaf out into a burst of autumn palettes that take your breath away, it is also home to towns and villages lifted straight out of Norman Rockwell’s America.


Red barns, fields thrusting up crops of every description, deep fertile soil amid rows of green and red and gold, it is the bread basket of the North East.


And yet, it is also famous for Boston Harbor with all its colonial history, that beautiful patrician city that many solid, beer-hall natives call home as well.  There is nothing truer or more honest than a Massachusetts homey and you will get the unvarnished opinion of just about anyone who was born and raised there, from one end to the other. Ask them!


For my summer destination, I chose the Cape because of its windswept clean beaches, its charming eateries, stores brimming with locally made souvenirs, elegant hotels and golf courses, and its proximity to ferry-ride day places where you can haunt little known nooks either to relax and feel the ever-present sea breezes or just stroll and dip into shops for shade and picking up gifts to take back home.


It is also known for its easy swimming and fishing, golfing, sailing, and shell collecting, if those appeal to you.


Whenever we go to Cape Cod, we just want to relax, make no plans, meander around, stumble on restaurants and stores, eat out or order in. We city slickers like to slow down during the summer. Here, it is effortless.

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While there are too many parts of this peninsula for me to cover here, I do think you can get the entire experience, absorb the ambiance of the earliest attractions of this country to the pilgrims who landed in Provincetown and Plymouth, by staying in one little corner: Falmouth-Woods Hole.


From this small spot with Falmouth on one end and Woods Hole on the other, you can also take a short, 40 minute ferry ride to famous Martha’s Vineyard, the playground of old family Yankees and Knickerbockers.


It is prohibitive to stay on the Vineyard, but you can afford an Air BnB or VRBO in Falmouth and take the shuttle or walk to almost every attraction this end of the Cape has to offer.  It may not be cheap, but it will be memorable.


First things first: getting to Falmouth/Woods Hole. Even though the logical choice would be Boston’s Logan Airport, my experience with the area has led me to choose Bradley International in Hartford, Connecticut. A lesser known, less traveled hub, it is also known for being safer, less crowded and newer as well as easier to navigate.

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Upon landing at either Bradley or Logan, you can hop a bus, rent a car or call on Uber to get you out to the Cape. We always drive because it is such an enjoyable journey through some of the most beautiful countryside in the US, but you can make the choice that suits you best.


If you can, stay for a couple of weeks. It will be more cost-effective to rent a home for that, than to stay in a hotel. However, if you prefer a hotel environment, I would suggest Inn on the Square.  Visiting the website will make it clear why: it gives you the environment of the old seafaring Cape of the 19th and 20th centuries for a relatively reasonable price.


I would not advise looking for a hotel in Woods Hole itself. You can easily hop the shuttle from Falmouth and stay there instead. It is a mere ten minutes from Woods Hole. However, the world famous Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute is in WH and they have dorms as well as cottages for students and faculty.


If it were I and I wanted to stay right in Woods Hole and couldn’t find a house to rent, I would contact WHOI and ask them for availability of their housing. It is worth a shot.


There is so much to do in both Falmouth and Woods Hole, that I almost hesitate to suggest a hotel in Martha’s Vineyard. But, I will throw one in, for good measure.


Personally, I would prefer to stay in Falmouth or Woods Hole and just take the 40 minute ferry for the day to the Vineyard. Nonetheless, Mansion House is a lovely place to stay — you will just be paying more for it in the summer season.


As for eating, I don’t know where to begin except Falmouth. Merely walk up and down Main Street and you have plenty of excellent choices, but get there early as they all have long lines at breakfast, lunch and dinner.  We enjoy Quarterdeck for brunch at 164 Main and The Glass Onion for dinner at 37 N. Main.  Both are standard American fare, but very well done and in comfortable, easy surroundings.  I have to admit, we made a daily pilgrimage to Ben&Bill’s for ice cream. Try the hand-made Birthday Cake and Chocolate Peanut Butter flavors. Grab some chocolates too, again, made by this family run business.


In Woods Hole, we love Pie in the Sky, a bakery and light meal stop for the best burgers and sandwiches, cookies and pies anywhere. We have also gotten burgers at Quiks Hole Tavern and Landfall Restaurant and frequent Captain Kidd for seafood.


I am always in an ice cream mood when I am in Cape Cod, so I have to admit to more than one indulgence at my absolute all time favorite ice cream shoppe, Candy Go Nuts on Luscombe. There, I always have the Cotton Candy cone.


We never stay on Martha’s Vineyard, so our one meal there is always lunch, half way between ferry rides. Hands down, we have two places we absolutely must visit every single time. For lunch, it’s Among the Flowers Cafe at 17 Mayhew Lane in Edgartown. Simply extraordinary salads and sandwiches and soups.


Definitely get a basket of fries and pie.  Then, we never leave the Vineyard without a stop to stock up on fudge at Murdick’s. And, of course, Murdick’s has home made ice cream too.


Shopping, well, there are far too many incredible stores to list them all here. A walk up and down Main Street in Falmouth, or on any street in downtown Woods Hole or Edgartown will fill you with eye candy of every description. Some of it unbelievably affordable, others, well, you can dream.


In Woods Hole, I always make a beeline to Under the Sun. Their clothes, bags and pottery are all locally made but their jewelry is the real draw. No matter what you get, people will think you have paid ten times what you did. Love that place. For gifts, I go to Handworks. In Falmouth, I love Treasure Chest on Main Street for clothes and for gifts, Celebrations nearby. Twiggs Home and Garden has the most amazing collection of soaps and glassware and jewelry and other decorative items for home and garden, you must stop there. But there are many others up and down the street. Just explore.


On Martha’s Vineyard, try Island Company and Bananas. For gifts, you have to see Off Main in Vineyard Haven and for linens, there is no place like Le Roux Kitchen.


But, the most important thing to relish when you are on the Cape, is the natural beauty and the felicity of the people. Tourists don’t come here to see celebrities, they come to be immersed in the people and the culture of the Massachusetts coast: wild, uninhibited, fresh, raw and unforgettable.


This is my absolute ideal summer haunt with perfect sunny, breezy, cool but never chilly weather. A good relief from the heat that seems to be creeping over all of us increasingly at all times of year. I would be remiss if I didn’t share what my good friend Robin said in a comment on my other Summer sticky post, Summer Like it Hot: “I always remind people of Rockport or Gloucester on Cape Ann being a beautiful getaway and not so ‘glitzy’ nor expensive as Cape Cod.” Good suggestions, Robin! There is so much to see in Massachusetts, I could devote an entire blog to singing its praises.


No matter where you go in the state, you will find it a haven with that earthy atmosphere of real and reel.

Images: Chez BeBe assets and the establishments featured, except for the Alamy shot of Under the Sun — they simply have no pictures and I overlooked taking any on my trips there, so I hope Alamy will forgive me.




Summer Like it Hot

But not I!😀

Since I put up my Winter travel recommendation sticky-post late, I am offsetting it with an early-ish Summer piece.  This is Part One.


It is already summer here in Valencia this week, hovering around 100F, unhappily for me. The minute the weather turns sultry I begin dreaming of cooler climes. If you have been following this blog for awhile, you know I am a cold weather fan. If I were like most people, I would pick Palm Springs or Phoenix even in August. But I am the Vermont in February Un-y-Mooner, if you recall. So …


Now, I have already shared two places that I can heartily recommend for those of you who want to escape the heat. They are the Jersey Shore and La Jolla. See both posts for details. If I knew it better, I would recommend Vancouver/Vancouver Island. What all of these places have in common is beautiful beaches, old, lovely architecture, gorgeous vegetation, elegant upscale vintage towns with places to eat and shop in abundance and, wait for it: moderate, balmy temperatures even in August.


As you know, if you read about my Jersey Shore, there used to be elegant old hotels there. I am no longer familiar with the local accommodations, so I will just suggest using a VRBO or Air BnB (see my Oakland post for winter). As for La Jolla, I do have a recommendation: La Jolla Shores Hotel.

It’s right on the beach, within a few steps of all the attractions. A large, sprawling complex with comfortable rooms and verandas for dining or having an afternoon drink to watch the sun set. It reminds me of those old, gracious, rambling colonial hotels one finds in Montego Bay. It is reasonable by La Jolla standards and the staff are friendly. Q.E.D.!

While you are in La Jolla, make sure you try the ice cream at Bobboi Natural Gelato, 8008 Girard Street, #150  – expect the unexpected in flavors like Charcoal Vanilla or Blood Orange or Meyer Lemon and Mint,

and have one dinner at Osteria Romantica, 2151 Avenida De La Playa La Jolla, CA 92037.

The latter is literally two short blocks from La Jolla Shores Hotel and wonderful, from the menu selection’s authenticity, to the quality of the food, to the service and ambience. A bit of Italy in California.


If you are in the mood for Mexican, and don’t mind rustic, head right to The Taco Stand for hands down the best Mexican food in La Jolla.

Right across the street on Pearl is El Pescador, our favorite fish restaurant.

And yet another absolute must is Oscars, at its four locations for Mexican seafood!

But, if you want to sit and look out directly onto the Pacific, head to Carolines at the famous Birch Aquarium of Scripps Institution of Oceanography.

There is no end of things to do in La Jolla: take a snorkeling tour of the coast, go to any one of the dozens of coves and watch the sun set or jog along the beach at sunrise.  The shops are too numerous to list, but one of our favorites is Gepetto’s toy store. You can visit the Museum of Contemporary Art. There are, of course, many other things to do in the San Diego area that are unique, including the famous kayak tours, the world renowned San Diego Zoo and Safari Park, both of which I have visited several times and highly recommend, Old Town — which from my experience is the best way to get a taste of Mexico, while staying in California — and shopping in Horton Plaza or La Jolla Village.


But, my main tip for a perfect place to spend a summer vacation has to be Woods Hole/Falmouth/Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts, and that is coming up in Part Two: Summer Came Running:Languor Management.

Images: Chez Bebe Assets/La Jolla, California






Ooh la LA

The weather has been so delightful lately, that I realized it was time to invite people to visit Southern California before it’s too late and we are either roasting alive or dying of thirst, LOL! These are my insider’s tips on visiting La-La land: the only five places you will need to know to party like a native.😉

Rooftop Bar, Hotel The Standard, Downtown L.A., Los Angeles, California, USA

New York is the place to visit in autumn, as I wrote last year.  Spring is the time to visit LA. When I was reflecting on Los Angeles, and trying to summarize what it is about LA that is so attractive to people — apart from endless sunshine, that is, natch — the word seductive came to mind.

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A few years ago, I read this book about France and the French character.  It is worth reading just to see how differently the French look at everyday life, relationships, food, tourists, Americans etc.  Not to say that they are right or wrong, necessarily but truly it is a culture apart. France is seductive.

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Los Angeles is like that. Someone should write a book about it (note to self). Unlike NYC that instantly triggers love or hate, Los Angeles sidles up to you and lures you in with that sultry come hither environment that allows everyone to be utterly, nakedly themselves. And that is no mere metaphor. You have permission to be as uninhibited and as outrageously ‘you’, as you want here — and that is what I love most about this city, its welcoming diversity.

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There are three urban hubs that you need to hit if you want to understand California.  In some ways it should be two or three states.  San Francisco and San Diego are distinctive megalopolises with their own sphere of influence and mindsets.  You won’t get to know or understand all three, by just visiting one of them.

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People everywhere are drawn to Los Angeles, but not for the beaches, because, honestly, there are others far more beautiful.  If you are looking for the ideal beach environment, go to Cape Cod, Monterey, the Northeastern coast of Brazil or the Caribbean.  Don’t come to LA for that.

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People love Los Angeles because of its gigantic entertainment industry and the allure of being close to the stars. If you are a wannabe, the magnetism of LA is powerful and rightly so. But, I think the true main attraction of LA is that, you can park philosophies and ideologies at the threshold when you land at LAX and step into a completely welcoming, accepting culture that signals immediately: anything goes. Relax, have a great time. Not a Hawaii-lie-around-the-pool great time.  A get-out-there-and-have-a-ball. Mingle, go to barbecues, hit the club scene, do a night on the town. Be free to enjoy yourself, however you like. Angelenos are incredibly outgoing and friendly, right away.  They don’t need time to warm up to you.  For a transplanted NYer it was palpable immediately. Smiles and welcomes, sincere ones, not papier-mâché politeness, characterizes the citizenry.

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Last week, my cousin was in Los Angeles on an assignment. She always stays at the London West Hollywood.  Claire and I chatted in her sleek ultra-modern suite and then went up to the roof patio for dinner.  It was a beautiful clear day looking out over LA on the top floor of the hotel in late afternoon.  As we were sitting there gabbing, afloat over the city, evening fell, draping everything with its violet shawl. All around us was a crystal view of the sprawl that is the LA metropolis,  its lights flickering on and the stars popping out overhead. Some miles to the east, Downtown appeared as a cluster of glittering stacks that huddled together like intimate giants sharing a secret. Farther along Wilshire, Century City was gazing across the concourse toward Westwood. It was pure magic.


Come to Los Angeles between April and July.  Summers here are too brutal now, the autumn is unremarkable and the winters, well, they can be misty and dull.

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Here is where I would start.  Stay at one of the newly restored more affordable hotels Downtown or on the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood. There is a lot to do at night on this stretch of the Strip. If you like off-off-off Broadway entertainment, lol, the Strip is the place to go.  Start at the Whiskey.  You can walk to it from the London WH, and frankly, that is where I would stay.  Rooms average about US$350, reasonable by LA standards. The other advantage you would have is being able to get to Beverly Hills, Century City, Westwood, the Melrose restaurant row very easily, even using LA’s notoriously limited public transportation.  I have ridden the Metro bus and train system locally and they are clean, air conditioned, safe and comfortable.  Not like London, Paris or NY, not efficient, fast and ubitquitous, but good. You can even get to Downtown and Pasadena using public transportation, from a central hub of West Hollywood. Hollywood itself is also east on Sunset, so you couldn’t ask for a better place as home base.

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Not to oversell this location, you can also take Sunset to Santa Monica, Brentwood and Venice Beach. Although, as I will explain in a minute, I would suggest the South Bay or Beach Cities instead.  They are far more exemplary of what Angelenos consider beach living, while Santa Monica and Venice are for tourists.

From the hub you choose, I would visit the following places, depending on how much time you have:

  1. Downtown, LA
  2. West Hollywood/Hollywood/Melrose
  3. Pasadena
  4. South Bay beach cities: Manhattan Beach, Hermosa Beach and Redondo Beach
  5. Beverly Hills/Westwood

As you plan your visit, just remember the LA Golden rule:

Everything is always 45 minutes away from everything else …

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Downtown, as I have said previously somewhere on this blog, is really hopping now.  If there is a happening place in LA, DT is it.  It is packed with restaurants, clubs, bars, loft-hotels and entertainment.  The Disney Concert Hall, the Chandler Pavillion complex and other similar venues for traditional theater- and concert-going are at the north end.  There are museums and cathedrals as well as the very trendy and cool Grand Central Market that is worth an afternoon of eating and coffee in itself.

There is also a fab Art Walk that takes you around to galleries and the hidden creative underground/grunge that makes LA appealing for millennials right now, from burning men to urban hipsters.  The Natural History Museum and the Staples Center are at the bottom of DT LA and both are worth the trip.  Just walk up and down the north/south artery of Figueroa and you will see a history of architecture from the 18th through the 21st centuries, rising on either side of you.  While you are doing that, make sure to stop at Fig&7th to have a snack or a drink and get in a bit of shopping. Just a block or two north and you can eat at the famous, original Pantry, continuously open since 1924. Or take Wilshire from DT, via the Metros, all the way West to the beach, and watch the progress of the city the automobile built, materialize as you go.

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And while you are there, make sure you have afternoon English tea at the Biltmore Hotel. It is an LA institution and I guarantee you will gape at the world’s glitterati parading around you as they stream into DT in droves, snapping up refurbished buildings to re-rent out or install start-ups. It is very reasonably priced at about $200 per night for old world luxury.

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When we are DT, we eat at various places.  You can always grab a bite at the Grand Central Market, with all its many food stalls. If you are deep in the dough, try the Water Grill for perfect food in a flawless upscale environment.  If, like us, you are on a budget, head to the Fisherman’s Outlet.  An LA legend is Philippe’s for sandwiches.

West Hollywood/Hollywood/Melrose I probably don’t need to tell you too much about this part of LA, West of Downtown.  This is the hub of the night scene. There is shopping, of course, with a robust array of boutiques and galleries. But clubs and restaurants are the main draw. The Viper Room, Whiskey a Go Go, the Roxy Theatre and all sorts of sky bars are strung along Sunset.  Just drop your stuff at the hotel and head out in either direction on the Boulevard and you will stumble on them.  Whenever I am in this area and I have time, I make my way over to Little Ethiopia for lunch.  Not only is it affordable, it is exotic and exquisite food made and served by natives.  Try Messob, my fave.

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Pasadena may be a bit more staid but for my money, skip the Getty and the LACMA and head straight to the Norton Simon Museum, Gamble House, Asia Pacific Museum and Huntington Library and gardens that stretch from one end of Old Pasadena to the other.  There is more shopping and eating in Pasadena, with every kind of food from all over the world, than in any place outside of DT LA. It is a beautiful, pristine, elegant old city that has been updated and now boasts an influx of condo dwellers at an unprecedented rate.  Every possible kind of entertainment is available and you can walk to it, from the Metro which has several stations in Old Town. Definitely check out The Pasadena Playhouse for live theater, as well as various cinema complexes up and down the main east-west thoroughfare — especially at The Paseo –, Colorado Boulevard.  You can attend free concerts all summer at the Levitt Pavilion or the symphony at the stunning, world class Ambassador Auditorium.

Make sure you stop by the largest independent bookstore in Southern California, Vromans and have a homemade sundae at the 100 year old Fairoaks Pharmacy in South Pasadena. Eat dinner at the incomparable El Cholo, for Mexican food, SoCal style.

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Southbay/The Beach Cities This may be a bit out of the way, unless you have a car. If so, head west on Sunset to the 405/San Diego Freeway and points south.  Get off at Rosecrans and go west to Pacific Coast Highway, turning south again.  You will be in Manhattan Beach, the largest of the three.  Turn right on Manhattan Beach Boulevard and take it down to the Ocean. There you will find yourself amid the real coupon-clipping laid back millionaires that teem all over this part of LA.  These are the Angelenos who never work. Everywhere around you will be bronzed blonds zipping along in Italian convertibles.  There are literally dozens of places to eat, in every price range, as well as boutiques and bars.  But, of course, as you rise over the crest of the hill on MB Blvd., you will see the Pacific gleaming and winking ahead of you.  Bring a towel and beach wear. This is the place to watch the roller-bladers gliding along The Strand in front of the multi-million dollar manses that perch at the sand’s edge.  Take your margarita down there and imagine what life would be like if you had nothing to do every day but gaze out at the ocean liners and Catalina, while your help kept you supplied with refreshments.


MBch is the best kept secret in the Southland.  Try the ancient Kettle for lunch and Love&Salt for dinner. Farther down PCH pointing south is Hermosa Beach.  Like Manhattan, it is for play not work, but trendier, younger, hipper and more bohemian.  Finally, a bit farther down is Redondo Beach.  It has the Pier and attracts an older, quieter crowd.  You can’t go wrong with any of the three.  Hermosa has a comedy club that is actually fabulous. You never know who is going to do a gig there, often well known comics, so check before you go and reserve a seat.

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Beverly Hills/ Bel Air/ Westwood I typically avoid the first two.  By the way, Century City is in this area but it is largely businesses and residential.  There is not much there to recommend you spend time in CC when you could be Downtown, in Manhattan Beach, or Pasadena. Beverly Hills needs little introduction. If mansion-crawling is your thing, just go west on Sunset from West Hollywood, and you will be in Bel Air in ten minutes.  It is self-explanatory once you see the sign (you can’t miss it). If you find yourself in Bel Air, visit the North side of the UCLA campus, the old part of this 419 acre magnificat.  You shouldn’t waste time looking at houses in BH, the main attraction of which is that Sultanic mecca known as Rodeo Drive. By the way, if you want to stay in this part of LA and actually go to the LACMA anyway, you can stay at the iconic Beverly Wilshire (Pretty Woman). But, it’s pricey.

Don’t bother eating in BH either. Overpriced, overhyped, mediocre food.  No celebs will be eating there, just tourists.  Eat instead in Westwood, the home village of UCLA, SoCal’s other premiere University (beside CalTech).  There are so many fantastic places to eat in Westwood, I would need another post for them.  Our favorite is Native Foods.

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Ok, ok, I hear you saying, but what if I absolutely must tell people I ate in Beverly Hills and money is no object? Then absolutely, you have to go to Crustacean, if for nothing else, the experience of the place.  You won’t be sorry — broke, but happy.   If you just need to use a restroom and grab a snack so you won’t faint while shopping, go to Neiman Marcus, located on Wilshire.

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Then head over to Westwood, gape at billionaire’s row on Wilshire as you approach the Westwood Village, and rest on the UCLA south campus after all this activity.

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By the way, there are three more items you might want to consider: LAX, Burbank Airport and Union Station.  If you want to start in the South Bay and see these three beautiful and entertaining beach cities, by all means fly into LAX.  They are just 15 minutes south on the 405 Freeway.  If you want to start in Pasadena or West Hollywood? Use the very nice, easy, safe Burbank Airport, you will be just minutes away from both.  If you plan to start Downtown, consider taking Amtrak to Union Station and see a classic with one of the best restaurants anywhere, Traxx.

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That’s it.  If you just hit those five key spots, you will be immersed in LA and totally ‘get it’ ever after.

Images: Beth Byrnes, The London West Hollywood and The Examiner

(F)All in: NY

If there was ever a time to visit New York City, this is it.


Not only is Fall the prettiest time of the year in NY but there is a Mayoral race going on, so the city will be on its toes and putting all the bells and whistles out for the spotlight that this race will enjoy. If you can, visit NY right now. Bloomberg will get everything shipshape for this key election.

There are other reasons.  Having lived there for 25 years, this is the best season, in my opinion.  First of all, it is usually sunny, dry and cool, not yet cold.  There is less precipitation in the Fall and the winds are not unusually brisk, though they can be just active enough to put a sparkle of energy in the air.


At some point, depending on the temperatures, the leaves will be turning.  Many people do not realize how many parks and how much landscaping the city has.  Everyone knows about Central Park, but there are so many others, like Battery Park, Union Square, Gramercy Park, just to name the most obvious ones.  If you do a little Googling, you will get a full list of the hidden pocket parks.  If you will be there for more than a few days, you may also want to head over to Brooklyn, which has gentrified considerably and rivals Manhattan in almost every significant way.  Another fabulous thing to do is take the Henry Hudson Parkway up along the river and go to Tarrytown and Hastings-on-Hudson, among many old Yankee villages and Washington Irving’s stomping grounds; all points north along the river are pure magic at this time of the year.

5182381381_12fe3c7af5 Henry Hudson Parkway

The most important decision you will make when coming to NYC is where to stay. My recommendation would be two hotels.  The first is my favorite and a secret that almost no one knows about.  This is the Hotel Wales at Madison and 92nd Street.  One of the prettiest, most convenient and safest, quietest neighborhoods in Manhattan is Carnegie Hill – the 90’s from Central Park to Lexington Avenue.  The Wales is right in the middle of it.  Built at the turn of the last century, when I stayed there it had elegant lobbies and rooms,  good restaurant and room service and not only was immaculate but enjoyed exceptional European-style service, including tea served on the roof terrace with a view of the park. Best of all, it is probably one of the most affordable hotels you will ever stay in (priced below some motels in the vicinity) and considering it is in Manhattan, in the best residential neighborhood, overlooking Central Park, the price is unbelievable.

Hotel Wales

My other recommendation, if you have a bit more in your budget would be the Waldorf Astoria.  I have stayed in almost all the top, established luxury hotels in NY (the Plaza, Pierre,Carlyle).  My favorite is the Plaza but I have to say, for visitors, the location and beauty as well as history of the Waldorf would be my top recommendation.  All of these hotels are expensive, but you can get a deal at the Waldorf and stay in the hotel choice of kings and queens.  It is gorgeous, elegant and the service cannot be topped anywhere on this planet.  In the East 50’s you can walk in every direction to many of the best attractions in midtown.

Waldorf Astoria

If you are flying in to the NY area, use Newark International Airport instead of JFK or La Guardia.  Newark is the newest of the three, it is actually closer to Manhattan than JFK, far safer, and much less hectic.  You will get to the city in less time than if you choose JFK.  In every way, Newark is a pleasure.  In fact, I like it so much and consider it to be so much safer than most airports that even when I am heading to Boston or Philadelphia, I fly into Newark and then take the train or rent a car and drive to those two cities. (Boston’s Logan Airport is a pure nightmare – avoid it at all costs: unsafe, bird strikes, terrible facilities, short runways – it is notorious for its inferiority as far as airports go, just take my word for it).


I do not need to give you all kinds of tourist destinations as there are thousands of places you can find these things.  Let me instead recommend a strategy for ‘tackling’ NYC.

When I was in college, I had a boyfriend who worked in South America.  He would invite me down to visit and see the sights and so I made some friends amongst the very educated, sophisticated people I met there.  When a few of them came to visit in the City, I was excited to take them around.  They had been all over the world, in many European cities like London, Paris, Rome, Barcelona, Zurich, etc.  These were wealthy world travelers.  But!  When they got to Manhattan they were totally overwhelmed. The longstanding joke thereafter was that I could not get them to go above 34th Street (Macys).

NY has a palpable energy that makes some people thrive and others collapse.  I have always said it is far easier to live (if you can afford it these days with one bedroom apartments starting at $600K) and work there than to visit.  So how you approach the visit can be critical.


Knowing what I know now, I would not start people off downtown as I had done with my Latin American friends.  If you are staying at the Wales, start with the upper east side of the Central Park district and work your way down, day by day until you hit Rockefeller Center.  If you are staying at the Waldorf in mid town on the east side, start there, go to Rockefeller Plaza and work your way up Fifth Avenue your first day or days. In this area are also Radio City Music Hall on 6th Avenue and a lot of UN-frequented exotic ethnic restaurants, many of them with excellent costumed performances and shows during dinner, at no extra cost (a way to be entertained without high priced theater tickets).

The upper and middle parts of Manhattan, on the East Side are the easiest to absorb and get acclimated.  They are beautiful, loaded with attractions including museums and St. Patrick’s Cathedral, the best shopping and restaurants, etc. And of course they are incredibly safe, as is all Manhattan now, thanks to the last two Mayors (Bloomberg and Giuliani).

Toward the second half of the trip or at least after you are used to being in Manhattan, head to the 42nd Street area, stopping in at the New York Public Library, the Empire State Building, the Upper West Side (don’t forget to go to the Museum of Natural History), Lincoln Center, Columbus Circle, down to Battery Park and the 9/11 Memorial, South Street Seaport and if you can, take the Brooklyn Bridge by car, cab or train to Brooklyn and eat at the River Cafe, especially at sunset, for the most spectacular view of Manhattan anyone could want and fabulous food.


After that hit the Village (west side, Greenwich Village.  If you are adventuresome and like ethic food, go the the East Village or better yet, Queens, but the latter may be for the end of a trip, not the beginning!), Washington Square, Soho and Tribeca.  All of these areas are safe, loaded with personality and fabulous food and shops.  Usually though, they are not first on people’s lists.  I would avoid Chinatown and Little Italy unless you like Chinese food and getting down and basic.  You are likely to find better Italian food in other parts of the city, especially Brooklyn.  Think Moonstruck.  If you are looking for inexpensive theater tickets check to see what is playing at the Barrow Street Theater. (Unfortunately, the Sullivan Street Playhouse that was home to The Fantasticks for 42 years, closed in 2012.)

If you have time left over, go to Bloomingdales on Lexington, Chelsea Pier over on the West side at 23rd, Gramercy Park on the East side around 18th Street, and up to the Bronx Zoo, which is in my opinion, the best one on the East Coast and rivals the famed San Diego Zoo for its quality and scientifically designed attractions.


If it isn’t too cold, take the Circle Line, but be prepared for part of it to be a bit boring – I have taken it when showing guests around the city and I fall asleep as it heads up to West Point.  It is a three-hour trip, so take snacks because the last time I was there, the food on the boat was expensive junk.  If you do take the Circle Line, you will pass the big luxury liners, Chelsea Pier, Battery Park, a spectacular view of Wall Street, South Street Seaport and the Statue of Liberty, the UN, as well as the bridges on the East River abutting Queens.  You will see a lot that will help you determine whether or not you need to go to those individual attractions separately.


Do this and you will get a real flavor for the city. If you can, give yourself a week.  You can do much of what I listed in three full days (with travel days on either side). Take it from a native, even in two weeks, you won’t see it all but if you go now, I promise you, you will have a spectacular experience.



Gilty pleasure

For some reason, the Santa Clarita Valley where we live has three glossy magazines about living here in shangrila.


Things like Inside Santa Clarita or Elite Valencia, of all things, Seasons, now that’s rich (we really have only one).

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A couple of weeks ago, as I was thumbing through them for once (instead of instantly tossing them in the recycling bin as per usual), I spotted a spectacular sprawling estate being featured, advertising the decorator, landscaper, home theater installer, etc.


Now, estates are all over this five-town bit of paradise, so that in itself wasn’t new.


What was surprising and baffling was the location of this ultra upscale manse and grounds. A sleepy, run down (well …) patch of abandoned red dirt-farmer mile or two just over yonder from our neighborhood.


Tucked away behind Newhall’s reviving Old Town, literally on the other side of the tracks.

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It is called Placerita Canyon, placerita meaning, of course, little pleasure. Very little I mused upon spying the location in the credits of the spread and looking it up with Google Maps.


My curiosity about why anyone would choose tobacco road to put several million dollars worth of topiary and dupioni prompted us to slouch over there, dressed in our downscale duds.


In fact, we took Geoffrey’s old pickup truck because I knew for sure we were going to literally be intruders in the dust.

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Were we ever.


For one thing, I have rarely seen such a mix of old and new, rich and poor, sleepy and hip, sophisticated and bumpkinesque in one small spot. For another, instead of a 7000 square foot house perching nervously on, let’s say generously, an acre as is the usual practice for the gated gentry up here, these places had acres and acres of land around them.


Another aspect of this venture was discovering how very paranoid everyone is these days, what with all the homeland security scares and our Nextdoor neighborhood gossip that spawns local fear-mongering at an epic level.


More than once I had to leap back into the truck as people came out to stare at us.


Given the range of types there, they could have been periscoping us or pointing a shotgun. We didn’t stick around to find out.


Everywhere we went, we kept exclaiming ‘how could we have missed this place’ after living here all these years?


Why weren’t we smart enough to snag a dozen acres in this forgotten backwater when it was still available and affordable instead of plopping down half a million on a postage stamp with a house squeezed onto it?


Too late! Too late!


Hollywood moguls have discovered Placerita Canyon and it is now safely out of range of mere mortals like we-folk.


One thing I love about it though — and truly wish I had been familiar with this place back when we moved up here — is the respect the early planners had for the beautiful old trees that populate the entire geography.


In Valencia, people cannot wait to chop them down.


Ah well, I am thankful Placerita Cyn is there whenever we want to step forward to the past, or see trees, and interesting fences — every single place was fenced, some more elegantly than others, or horses — stables are there too.


It is a reminder of what this entire area must have been at one time, lifted straight from Faulkner and Williams, now the playground of Geffen and Seacrest.


There is a false sense of stepping back in time, as this area evolves into yet another playground for the rich and famous, regrettably.


Let’s just hope the Kardashians don’t discover it! Oy vey!


Images: Chez BeBe assets: Placerita Canyon – Click on each photo to view it large

On pines and needles

This post is really just a place holder so that I can keep to my regular schedule. Not that I haven’t thought it through, I have and there is a reason to put it up here. But, I am working on my summer travel post and, as usual, it is taking up a lot of time. Also, as if I don’t have enough to do, I am starting up a new project on the internet, making a series of lace shawls from an exciting new silk and cotton yarn I found, and helping Deanna and Al find their dream house in California (such a lot of fun). 27205765006_d90ac143e3_z Earlier in May, Geoffrey and I finally accepted an invitation from his business partner to spend the weekend with him and his wife at their getaway cabin in Pine Mountain. Now, I have known about Pine Mountain for about 20 years, but had all kinds of misconceptions about it. I thought it would be just a pale imitation of Big Bear Lake or Wrightwood. The reason may be that virtually nobody in SoCal knows about it. 27098290402_bb66b66538_z For one thing, it is north of us in the middle of the Central California Valley. Both Kern and Ventura Counties claim it as the line between them literally bisects the mountain. For another thing, the road to get there from either the 5 Freeway (our main north/south drag) or the 101 on the coast, is a winding and narrow two-laner. It has a low population and, get this, everyone who moves there has to join an association or club. That is the way they keep it clean, safe, and beautiful. 26806554774_1c1c3f296c_z We had been turning down these invitations every single year in May to attend the Lilac Festival up there. This year, May started out uncommonly hot (even for Santa Clarita) and so it seemed refreshing to just get out of here and go to the boring mountain and sniff a few flowers. 26718450433_fcd2b66903_z Right. First of all, we were astonished to discover the place is stunningly gorgeous. Secondly, it is two thousand feet higher than Big Bear and Wrightwood, yup 9000′. Thirdly, the flowers were the least of the attractions. The festival itself was camp, silly, upbeat, lively, kitschy and delightful. 26901710504_7677068fe4_z Geoff’s partner’s “cabin” is a stunning multistory home, with breathtaking views of Los Padres National Forest that lies all around it, at its feet. Nestled into the side of a mountain, the lookouts were forever. The tree-covered mountains on Pine Mountain and as far as the eye can see in each direction are almost blue, thriving and vibrant. This may in part be due to the fact that there was extra snow this winter because of El Niño. Only intermittent signs of the drought were visible. 27158050350_8a0ed0505f_z We got to sleep in, breathe sharp clean mountain air, gaze through crystal light to bright and vibrant homes and features that club members have added to adorn and outfit the area. And we could walk to the festival each day, absorbing the celebratory mood and dragging back bags of stocking stuffers for our nieces and nephews, to be tucked away for the holidays. 27404232411_b7eceef6b1_z Everything was wonderful. There were some hairball aspects though, hence the title of this post. For one thing, the roads climbing to 9000 feet, while gradual and surprisingly gentle curve-wise, had absolutely no shoulders and virtually no barriers.


You could be careening around a sharp turn only to see that the road dropped away for hundreds of feet below you on one side, protection-free. 27525394116_f772054f58_z There were signs warning of the high fire danger, bears, deer, BEARS? Wait? We were planning to hike around.


Now, let me be clear. Geoffrey, his partner, and his partner’s wife are all marathoners, triathletes, outdoorsmen/woman, campers. There was only one citified princess among us and that dainty individual was nervous enough about getting scratched up and maybe bitten by a snake. It didn’t help to have the prospect of having to outrun or outclimb a ‘baar’, into the mix. 26696469244_42a532bf5a_z As to that fire danger: there is only one, narrow (albeit, well paved) road in and out of the entire mountain. It goes on for at least one hundred miles from the desert to the sea, if not more (I am guessing and too lazy to check), so, if there were to be a brush fire, well, it’s go vertical or perish. Hmm. 26786681284_30071aa91f_z No cell phone service either. Just the computer at the cabin, more a chalet. So, the dash to the top was fierce, even by car. 27274594792_e0b2053d00_z To add to this, literally the minute we got home on Monday morning, Geoffrey’s car that we had driven all weekend, developed a death rattle (or so we thought). He limped it over to the mechanic in Valencia who discovered a loose wire, that blew out the entire electrical system. If it had happened just a few hours before, well, I would be writing this from the funny farm. 27531408595_f8fbe20c92_z Anyway, to wrap this up, here are some of the hundreds of pictures I took. If you come to SoCal, you might want to take a trip back in time to Mt. Pinos/Pine Mountain, and then tell me, am I right or am I right?😀

Images: Chez BeBe assets: Pine Mountain, California



Update: this piece is apropos of my post last Friday, so take a look — it is an intriguing read and theory.

Former Bush Secretary of State, George Schultz recently offered that government officers must ask themselves the question, “What can I do to make the world better” and admitted to harboring some doubts that his Party’s current standard bearer has ever thought of that, but is rather occupied solely with himself and his own betterment. If an old conservative like Schultz is acknowledging that, it makes me wonder what has happened to our country. But, I don’t want to regale you with my political opinions — you know them already as I have made them no secret.


It does take us back, though, to the age old question about our purpose in life.  What is it? Just make it through each day and then, 85 years in, expire? In many religious traditions that merely dooms us to repeat a life of struggle, over and over again. We go round and round on the Karmic wheel for eons. We are little more than animals, with about as much control over our fates, and virtually no hope of ever having any either.

Most religions also recognize a way to escape all this grief and it can be summed up nicely by a few terms, depending upon which tradition you choose. Know yourself, wake up, be aware, be actualized, become fully conscious.  For my entire rational life, ever since I was very young, I have been trying to figure out how to do that, even though I could not at first express the concept in any of these terms.

I just knew instinctively that I wanted to be in control of myself in every way. To have self-mastery.  It has been a struggle and I have studied as many paths to this state of full human incarnation as I have had time. It is probably the primary reason I became a behavioral therapist, a child psychologist. It all starts there and if we don’t get it right early, we will be fighting against a closed mind and ego for the remainder of our time in this body.


To me, what happiness boils down to is finding out what we need to do to open our minds, truly see ourselves, and make good things happen to us and others, and prevent bad things from happening (Bubba talks about this all the time).  What that means to each of us will depend upon our culture and experience, but, as in many areas of existence, we know what good things are and what bad things are instinctively. We recognize them when we see them.

I am reading a very well written scholarly book on the Borgias. Apart from my love of that time period, and history, it has really brought home to me once more how many big mistakes have been made throughout history by people abusing themselves and one another in pursuit of all the wrong goals.  By wrong I mean, material goals like sex, money and power. None of these things bring joy, contentment, inner harmony, completion and accomplishment. They are the wrong avenues to choose for any sense of our life mattering after we are gone, and certainly while we are here. How much easier it is to see human foibles with the crystalline perspective of 500 years!

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In previous posts I have talked about all the easy to understand fables and metaphors for this issue, such as Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, the movie The Matrix, the concept of being sheeple.

Here’s another. I don’t remember where I first heard it. Maybe in India.  It tells us to think about consciousness as the distance that we can see clearly around us. Picture being in a forest. On the forest floor, at the bottom of the trees, we are in semi-darkness and can only view a few feet in any direction. Our knowledge of the situation is limited. The farther up the tree we climb, the more the light penetrates and we can see farther, take in more information, understand more about the context in which we find ourselves. We can also start to see others in other trees, at varying points as they attempt to climb higher for a better position, vista and understanding. The closer to the top of the tree we get, the fewer people we see at equivalent points in those other trees. Finally, if we don’t fall or stop, we reach the top, only a few will be at the top and now those who have gotten there can see everything: the other treetops, the world, other people, and the forest floor with those still in darkness there, trying to understand but hampered by a lack of visibility. And, as a coda to this notion, we can only see our own level and below — not above. That’s one reason we find it hard to understand the point of view of those who have advanced beyond us on this parameter of consciousness.


Why do I even bring this up again? Well, frankly, I am trying my best to understand why people are acting in this inexplicable manner right now.  I do truly want to figure it out because I just cannot fathom endorsing the conduct that we are witnessing and want to give those who do every benefit of doubt. It isn’t a matter of intelligence, even though it would be easy to settle on that explanation. Nope. In the end, it is a matter of being sound asleep, as Gurdjieff wisely observed 100 years ago.

Oscar Ichazo came up with a great system for understanding ourselves.  It is based on some ancient principle, probably Sufi.  It goes something like this. There is sanity and insanity, unconsciousness and consciousness.  The level of sanity starts at -6144, that’s minus six thousand one hundred forty-four. The level below that is -12,288 or insanity. At roughly -6000 (we’ll round it off as Aricans do when talking among themselves, for simplicity sake) — we are totally asleep, i.e., unconscious, but technically sane.  Life is basically about getting through the day. We are grappling at that level with our fears, which are legion. These fears are archaic, laid down millions of years ago and somewhat involuntary. In fact, at that level the sane but unconscious person is ruled, hemmed in by 6,144 fears.  I think of it as a complex web of wires, a maze from which we see (if we even recognize it) no avenue of escape. There is almost no choice involved in daily living at minus-6000, because these fears dictate our every thought and action. When you are afraid, you will be desperate for someone to allay those fears even with obvious, outrageous lies. We are slaves for all intents and purposes when we are in a minus-6000 state.  Sadly, that is where the majority of people spend most of our/their time. Some people never get any higher, ever.

The next level up from 6144 is -3072 (can you see where this is going?). This is the level of “rules”. When we are being “3000”, we are all about the rules. Right and wrong. Do this, not that. This is the level of anger. We are deeply unconscious in 3000, and hemmed in by those 3072 rules but a bit more awake than we are at 6000/fear. Some people are the epitome of 3000. They are the “should and shouldn’t” folks. Always telling others what to do, barking orders, legalistic, on a hair’s trigger when they perceive an infraction. Uptight, negative, pessimistic, feeling that they are misunderstood, -3000 is not a happy place to be.


Then, of course, there are those who are what Oscar referred to as -1536 and which Aricans casually refer to as being “1500” (‘fifteen hundred’). These are the people who are full of themselves, arrogant, know-it-alls, confident that they are superior. They are sound asleep — it’s minus 1500 after all, but of course you could never convince them of that. They are sure they are much better, smarter, savvier than you, and everyone else. There are fewer of them, there are legions of 3000 and 6000 people all around the 1500’s, so the world looks as if it agrees. Fewer people are at 1500. There are only 1536 laws governing the freedom to act of people at that level, but they are slaves to those laws nonetheless.

Naturally, I could fill us in on the rest of the levels of unconsciousness as we wake up in stages, all the way up to +24 which is considered enlightenment, being fully awake and in control of ones thoughts and actions, free, blissful.  Joseph Campbell would certainly refer to it that way. These people are at the top of the tree. It doesn’t mean they are Pollyannas, it doesn’t mean life is smooth and easy for them. It merely means their inner happiness overcomes the outer obstacles or challenges or setbacks and they are permanently content.  Of course, we also slide up and down the scale all the time, rarely, if ever, getting above zero. Still, we do tend to dwell on our base or home level most of the time, until we can progress and stay in a more awake state of consciousness. Sometimes we never get higher.

So, without going on into this theory (and I have found it to be a muscular, robust tool for understanding human behavior over the past few decades since I learned about it), I ask you, if for argument’s sake here you accept the premise of this theory, how many people do you think you know personally or have seen or heard with your own senses that are at +24? And how many do you think you know or have seen that are at -6000?


Exactly. That is the only way I keep from being plunged into despair about what is transpiring right now. What can I expect when a very 1500 asleep huckster is manipulating the 6000 fears of the masses and the cranky old misanthrope is haranguing the 3000 rules of the angry crowds he attracts? Anyone who is at the level one step higher than the rest, has this ability! Is it any wonder that we may be on the verge of a cunning 1500 shyster taking the helm because the vast majority of the population is simply afraid, and the ones who aren’t, are just angry?

This is one reason I like the only remaining person who at least, while certainly not fully awake by any means, spends most of the time at -768! Reason, analysis, explanation, patience, nuance, intellect, with a dose of true empathy. Many people just cannot see it, because they are stuck in the 360 degree web of unclarity below.

This is just our plight for the forseeable future because human evolution, indeed, all evolution progresses very slowly.  Until the majority are at at least Zero and maybe +12 and +24, this is what we are in for. We had better just try our best to raise ourselves up that scale, climb that tree to freedom. We will have stepped off the wheel. And then we simply won’t care.

Images: Chez BeBe assets/San Diego and Pine Mountain



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